A Drugged Out Beauty Queen
by Midnight And Stoned
Summary: Lily.. She wasn't the bookworm everyone thought she was on the outside. Now she'll show her true self after recovering from a near death experience.
1. Chapter 1

b Title: A Drugged Out Beauty Queen

Chapter Title: The Beginning Or The End /b 

This could not be happening to me right now. Why, oh why, do I always tend to get myself in these types of situations? I guess it's because I purposely put myself in predicaments that I know will just be drama. I'm just that type of person. I am prone to manipulation, lying, decieving, thievery, abusing drugs, and that's pretty much it. I guess I'm finally being punished though for everything that I've done.

By the way, my name is Evans, Lily Evans. Yes, I know, immature and cliché, but I just can't help myself. I'm a seventeen-year-old witch that is now about to meet her end, I presume.

The man yanking my gorgeous thick locks of amazingly red hair is some guy with the last name of Malfoy, or at least that's what I heard from the guy who is now tying my arms and legs to the chair. The use of names pretty much worries me more than anything, because that would obviously be very ignorant of them if I was supposed to be able to get out of here.

Maybe I should start with the beginning to all of this mess, would that be less confusing for all those readers out there? Yes, I know, you're all probably saying 'no, you fucking dumbass, you're already at the good part, we don't need to know anything else just get in on with the story'. Well all I have to say is geez-la-weeze, now calm the hell down and just read for a little bit of how I came to be in this dark room that smelled like pure ass with these wannabe gothic fuckers.

It all started when I was just smoking a lovely bowl of marijuana out of my new blue and chrome pipe on my good friend Alex's porch when all of a sudden these damn men came up to me asking for some powder. Well of course I had some extra so I decided to be a little generous. After what they did to me though I'm sure as hell glad I overcharged them.

"Alex, I can't move, will you go in and get me my purse, pleeeease?" I begged my friend of about four years grabbing onto his muscular arms pleading with my trademark emerald green eyes.

Rolling his eyes, he slowly got up after I assume a quick argument inside his head over whether he could move him either. You see, we were just a little too stoned and barred out to really comprehend the oddness of a stranger coming up to us asking for something illegal. All I have to say for that is, at least they weren't cops. I was almost off my six months probation and I did not want to go where they threatened me with last time.

"So what's your name, mister bojangles?" I questioned leaning my head to the right just a little a cute and innocent smile on my face, if I do say so myself.

The man, who had acutally really lovely chestnut brown hair that reached to his shoulders, pulled back in a low ponytail, and these piercing icy blue eyes that are now embedded into my memory shot me a questioning yet amused look before replying, "Well seeing as you already know it, what is the need to ask me?"

"Ohhhh, so funny mister bojangles, gosh I just love you. Sorry about me just sitting here and not shaking your hand properly and everything, I just don't think that I can. My whole body wants to go to sleep, but I feel so gooooooood!"

Forgive me, I know I sound quite stupid, but I swear it's just the drugs. I'm acutally quite an intelligent person, which is amazing considering I though drugs were supposed to fry your brain or something. Maybe I'm in denial, I obviously was not smart enough to figure out everything that was going on at the moment right before my FUCKING EYES. Okay Lily, don't be so hard on yourself, it's the drugs, just stick to your plan and don't blame yourself, anyone BUT yourself. Geez Lily, you just can't get anything right.

Okay sorry, I tend to have those kind of moments quite a bit when I'm telling a story. So.. Back to how I got here.

Raising an eyebrow and a smirk now placed on his chiseled face he shook his head slightly looking sideways towards the other man that was with him that I now just really noticed.

"Well, HI! I'm Lily! Excuse Mister BoJangles, I guess he's just so rude he didn't think any introductions were necessary. So who are youuu? Are you a friend of Jang-Jang?"

Before the second man with platinum blonde hair could respond Alex came back out carrying my purse that I was so proud of. I had made it several years ago out of different colors of yarn after one of my many acid trips, inspired by the beauty of swirling rainbows.

Looking up with a puppy dog face I asked Alex if he could please find the powder that was most likely in one of my make-up bags that I carried around to store my goodies. After a minute of searching he brought the small bag that held a gram of pure cocaine.

"One hunnnnndred dollas, pwease mister," I said holding out my hand for one of the men to place the money in.

Handing the five twenty dollar bills to Alex, he reluctantly gave the gram over to them with a look of wanting and greed in his beautiful multi-colored eyes. I could get lost for hours in those eyes of his, especially if I was on certain things.

Gosh, now that I'm actually writing out everything, I really just sound like a drug addict. Well good, because that's what I am even though that's not ALL I am. Hopefully you can accept this and keep on reading, I promise it will get a little better later on.

Okay so anyway, these men, Mister BoJangles and Little Blondie Foo-Foo as I have now named them, both pulled out their wands at the same time putting a full body bind curse on my precious Alex and then putting a silencing charm on me before apparating me into this fucking room that smells of PURE ASS as I have so delicately put it before.

So that's the story of how I got here. I acutally thought it'd be a bit longer than that, but I guess not. So there it is.

Now would you like me to get to the juicy part? Am I going to die or am I not? Oh come on, you know the answer to that question, but I'm sure you're interested in what's going to happen to me, aren't you? Oh come on, I know you are.

[[A/N: I have no clue how I came up with this story.. But I do think it's quite original. And don't worry, the chapters won't usually be that short, I just wanted to explain a few things before I got really deep into the story. So please review because I need to know whether I should actually continue with this or not.


	2. Chapter 2

I guess I have to admit it to myself after being confined to this fucking place for several hours that I really fucked up this time.

I couldn't figure out what was going on and everything was starting to truly hit me now that the drugs had started to wear off. I was scared and tired of worrying about what was going to happen to me. I hated to worry about things, it was one of the reasons that I began using, but that's beside the point right now.

Examining my surroundings I began thinking of a way to distract the two men who were now talking between themselves about when their "master" was going to get there. Along with the realization of everything else I also had to berate myself for being so stupid. These men were death eaters and I was about to meet their ring leader, Voldemort. Definitely not too good at all considering I'm a 'mudblood'.

I really don't see why muggles are so horrible. I mean.. They were the ones that were smart enough to come up with all sorts of things for drugs to make you happy. Obviously all they want is to be happy and I don't see what's so wrong with that.

So anyway.. Back to the interesting part.

After several minutes of scanning the room I finally saw the entrance. There was a small opening between the floor boards beside one of the men and I was prepared to do anything to get there. I pretty much knew that it was my only way out.

Now all I had to do was figure out how the hell to accomplish this without being killed first. Didn't sound that hard, right?

"Ahem, excuse me, what if I have to take a shit?" I asked one of the men that I was pretty sure was Little Blondie Foo-Foo considering I could see a small peak of white blonde hair from under his hood.

"Then you sit right there and take one," he replied with amusement evident in his voice followed by a slight chuckle.

"Well, do you really want to wait any longer in here if it smells even worse? I mean, come on, obviously another one of your prisoners did their business and can you smell that shit?"

Hm, that might have worked somehow. The other man swiftly turned and moving the floor board aside he made his way down I'm assuming for looking for something to either keep the stench away or to keep my bowel movements so they could be easily tossed away. Ugh, this just made me sick.

Quickly, I made my way over to Little Blondie Foo-Foo licking my lips and toying with the edge of my shirt seductively. God, I hope this works. A second later my shirt was falling to the floor and I was centimeters away from Blondie. My hand made its way to his crotch quickly, alarming him for a moment I believe considering he stiffened for just a moment before easily relaxing.

"You don't think by fucking me you can just escape do you?" he asked grabbing at my black lace bra that was my favorite, ripping the strap. Fuck that bastard.

"Of course not, but I'm not dying without getting a little action first. You don't mind, do you?" I asked grinding my body into him forcing his back to hit against the wall. Perfect.

In a mere second I had his wand in my hand by my quick reflexes, which surprisingly were not smoked, snorted, or whatever away. Flicking it quickly I put him in a full body bind and jumped down the hole Mister BoJangles had just left by.

"What do you think you're doing, mudblood?" Jang-Jang asked, confidence and amusement in his voice.

"This," I said with a another flick of the wand putting a jelly leg curse on him only stopping for a second to laugh at his flailing form before running through the next opening I saw.

_Hmm.. I wonder if I can apparate here.._

"YES!" I screamed once I saw that I was back on Alex's porch.

Thank god for my beauty. At least I have something of use.

"ALEX!?" I yelled, going into his house searching for him. Scared to what I was going to find I was going quite slow and preparing myself for the worst.

As I came into the living room I saw such a disturbing scene I vomited all over the white carpeting at least four times. There he was, my best friend, my lover, pinned to the wall only by one of his swords that was now embedded into his stomach. There was blood everywhere.

_No no no, this can not be happening. Not my Alex.. Look at what I did to him! Oh god.. _was the only thing that could make its way into her mind.

This was all my fault. I was the stupid one to trust a stranger, I was the one who was a fucking witch and put him in harms way. I deserved to be dead, not him. He deserved to be someplace like heaven, he was one of the sweetest people she knew she would ever meet in her life and he was gone forever.

Running into his room she searched frantically for the only thing she knew would keep her mind preoccupied enough to keep her from killing herself right then. Finally finding what she wanted she held it in front of her eyes. _This will do._

Opening the box she pulled out a red ribbon and tied it tightly around her arm. Pulling out the syringe she took quickly and jabbed herself in the vein pushing until every last ounce of heroin was pumping through her.

Running to the front of the house again she began her next search, her purse. She knew that she'd find everything else she needed within it's secret compartments.

Seeing it thrown into the doorway she made her way over to it and started to dig trying to get what she wanted. After feeling the small baggy I pulled it out with ease grinning at my newfound prize. Sitting down I reached under the table in the entryway that held a mirror with a credit card placed on top. She could already feel the powder going through her.. The bitterness overcoming her in the back of her throat.

Dumping the bag's contents she quickly made the lines as to make sure they were done before she felt everything else kick in. Pulling out a cut straw from her skirt pocket she shoved into her left nostril and bent over, inhaling the white substance that sent chills down her spine. She couldn't wait to get of the horrible sober feeling and the fact that she was in her dead best friend's house taking all his unused drugs.

Just now noticing she was topless she went into Alex's room and pulled out one of his shirts but not before savoring its smell. God, she missed him.

Yet suddenly the memory of him pierced and hanging in the next room vanished being replaced by a numbing feeling that went through her entire body. Her mind was a blank and she could barely move an inch.

Figuring there was no way out of there with using her legs she fell unto the floor and began crawling to her purse that held her along with Little Foo-Foo's now. Finally reaching her destination she picked her own up and tried to balance herself to stand up straight. Wobbling horribly she hastily apparated into a house that she had only stepped foot in once before.

"Lily?" one of the boys asked who was now lighting a joint sitting on an apparent overused couch.

The world was now spinning under her feet yet she found this to be quite amusing. Everything around her was turning into a movie, she was detached from each person in the room and believed that they were just actors like herself.

"So, what's the movie called?" Lily asked a dazed smile on her beautiful features.

Everyone at once looked at her casting a strange glance her way wondering what exactly she was on. She was acting more strangely than they had ever seen her and they were the ones that introduced this world of lost memories and crazy nights to her.

"Lily, sit down. Why are you so fucked up? Did something happen?" asked another one of the boys sitting there on the couch. He was now moving towards Lily helping her down into the seat he previously held. "Alex. He's dead," she responded, all emotoins erased from her voice and eyes. All they could see was a blank slate staring out into space. She was completely gone.

"What happened!?" screamed a girl with long brown hair that fell in loose waves shock and sadness showing through her stoned mask.

"I-"

Before Lily could finish her response she suddenly couldn't figure out where she was, who she was, or how she had gotten here. All of the confusion along with the need for complete peace was making her go insane. Several moments later her face fell to the floor, her body sliding out of the chair. She made no move to get up nor did the others, worried about the facts surrounding Alex's death. The way she was acting now proved that she could've definitely killed him and not even known or not even realized what she had done.

She was now trapped in a daze, unable to comprehend anything, and left alone to care for herself. There was no one who could save her now.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Mommy? Why can't I see daddy anymore? Is he in trouble?" a little girl asked her mother, looking up with such entrancing emerald green eyes that were filled with innocence and worry. Her crimson red hair was pulled back in two braids, her overalls now covered in dirt._

_"He'll be back one day, Lily, don't worry," the mother sadly replied her, own eyes the imitation of her daughter's. _

_Tears began forming in the child's eyes streaming slowly down her face that was littered with light freckles. "But I miss him, what'd he do?" she inquired, persistent on finding the reason why she hadn't seen in her father in several months._

_Sighing, the mother quickly gave the little girl a disgusted look and screamed, "He just wasn't himself anymore, Lily, he had to leave and you need to fucking understand that and shut up!"_

_Letting the streaks of water cascade down the girl took her mother's rough slap on the face easily, like she had been through this exact scene many times throughout her seven years of life._

_The memory slowly faded into black, now being replaced with a vision of a much older version of the girl who was now being tugged along by an older looking man with graying hair and a stern expression that looked like a permanent fixture on his aging face._

_"You can't make me say anything, you fucking bastard. I know my rights," she growled her signature eyes glowing in rage. _

_The innoncene that was once on the young girl's face had now disappeared, being replaced with eyes that held emotions other sixteen year olds would probably never experience and lips that could only form into a sarcastic grin. _

_Tossing her beautiful loose waves that hung several inches below her breasts behind her she stomped into the court room, determination etched perfectly across her features._

_"Lily Evans, come to the stand," the bailiff ordered as she walked past the rows that were filled with media and her family. _

_After swearing she would tell the court the truth she was told to sit and answer a few questions regarding the case._

_"Ms. Evans, is it true that your brother, Kylen Evans, has been abusing drugs for a little over three years?" another aging man asked, a lawyer of her grandparent's._

_"I plead the fifth," the teenager responded tossing a proud smile towards a man that could not be mistaken as her own brother._

_His flaming red hair was almost the same color as her own, only a few shades lighter, and his face held the same sadness and hopelessness that contrasted with his look of courage. _

_He smiled back, his eyes begging her to forgive him for having to be her in even more grief._

_After being escorted back to her seat outside of the room she waited for several hours until her grandparents came out, victorious smiles on their faces. _

_She was going to be left alone again. She knew it. She was no help to her own brother._

_"Lily, I'm sorry, but your brother has been found guilty of murdering your mother," calmly said the man that had brought her to the room earlier. _

_As the memory before had, this one now turned into the most recent memory of finding Alex's body, pierced with a sword like he was some animal that had been hunted and killed just so the hunter could show off his own skills. But as she saw him once more, she realized that it was exactly how it had seemed. He had just been another victim that had been placed as a reminder of his power._

"Lily? Lily!"

Slowly, the now seventeen year old girl ran her hands through the now waist length crimson red hair blinking back unshed tears from her alarmingly bright eyes.

"Wha-?" she responded looking up to see one of her friends now flicking the ash off the blunt and placing it back in his mouth with a smirk, looking down at her.

"ALEX! Where is he?" she asked, quickly moving her head around searching for her best friend. Quickly shoving herself off the ground she ran throughout the house searching desperately until she finally collapsed on the cold floor shaking her head in disgust and guilt.

Her best friend was dead and she did nothing at all to help. She was the reason he was now just a mere reminder of what could have been her. She was the one that put him in the position to be slaughtered. It was almost as if she herself was the one that placed him on the wall, his blood covering the walls.

"Oh God, what have I done?"

Feeling dizzy once again she was sent to another world, one she had secretly made where nothing of reality could bother her.

Surrounding her was her father and brother, now both free from jail, her mother, the way she was before daddy had left, and now Alex, his body still in one.

They were all laughing with her at one of her stories of how school had gone. Of course she was still prefect, but she actually had friends who didn't think of her as only a freak. She was the most popular girl there and all of the boys were attracted to her.

The best part of this place was that she was sober all the time, yet so happy. She didn't have to rely on all the chemicals to put a smile on her face. She was herself, the way she would have been if everything in her life hadn't gone to shit like it had.

She was free.

Hours later she was once again woken up by her friend, but this time he had a wonderful surprise with him.

"Here Lily, maybe this will help you," he said shoving the mirror into her face.

Ah, yes. Everyone already knew her favorite, the one that caused the bitter taste in the back of her throat and the numbness that was sent through the bridge of her nose.

After quickly cleaning the contents off the mirror through a small straw she sat back against the couch, thinking to herself about the next school year.

She was going to have a life that she enjoyed, for once. She was going to forget everything about her previous life and start new. She was going to be happy.

Well, maybe she wouldn't forget exactly everything from her old life. She would still use drugs, only ones that weren't so harmful to her. This was the last time she would ever use cocaine she promised to herself. For now on it would only be bars and pot.

Smiling to herself she thought of all the new things she was going to do when she got back to Hogwarts.

This was the first year she was actually going to be excited about going back to the school full of happy teenagers that never had enough time to focus on anyone else but themselves.

_She _was going to be _free_.

[[A/N: Okay, I just wanted to thank my first and only reviewer.. And say that what in the world? This has had over 40 hits, but only one review? I'm sorry to say, but I don't think I'm going to be continuing this is I don't know how people are feeling about it. Is it good or not? I'll post the next chapter after five reviews. Sorry ..


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